Last Sunday I was de-cluttering my closet when I came across this maxi skirt that reminded me of my father. Not because he ever wore it hihihi! But because he called me ‘Lupita’ every time I wore that skirt. It reminded me of how his compliments were never straight forward. While other people would say “Agnes that outfit looks amazing on you!” My dad would say. “Agie! In her attire! No joke!” or say, “Ndelo! No joke!” Ndelo was one of the pet names gave us among others like Ndesndes and Ndelarus Nyandelo. He would also add the prefix ‘Nya’ to our names then repeat the name so for instance he called me Nyaagieagie and my sister Regina Nyaregieregie. My small sister has always been called ‘Baby.‘ It is a name that we have refused to drop but dad would call her by her official name Maryanne. He wanted us to stop calling her Baby, but he called her Baby when he was angry at her, ironical right?

I have been so vocal about the pain of losing my dad on this blog. I doubt if a day ever goes by without me mentioning him. He was good man. A loving Dad and caring husband. I really miss him and a lot of things about him. I really miss his jokes that always came in form of exaggerated stories. One day he narrated to us stories of his childhood and how he attended catechism classes at the Rang’ala Parish. Rang’ala is a small town in Siaya County that neighbors our village town Ugunja. The stories were so hilarious I almost choked on my supper. I remember mum telling him amid laughter “Please enda ukapigie marafiki zako hizo story kwa bar huko! Don’t kill my children with laughter. Look at my poor child Agie! She will choke if don’t stop Norbert!” (Go and tell your stories to his friends at the bar). I once asked his sister Aunt Jane about those Catechism classes and she laughed at the exaggeration in father’s tales.

My dad loved fish. He loved the way I prepared fish. Every time he would compliment my fish cooking skills I would glow meen! I just miss that. Damn! Every woman always wants her cooking to be praised and what an honour it was to be praised by the ultimate dude in my life. Si ati naringa but I make really delicious fish! Ask my office boyfriend hihihi!

I really miss accompanying him to site meetings and being his PA. Responding to his emails and printing his drawings and exam papers (dad was a contractor and lecturer). I miss helping him sort his students’ exam results and preparing budgets for his clients. The best part about this job was the trips to the building sites. The stories he would tell would crack me up. I miss updating his WhatsApp because dad loved WhatsApp and memes.

Damn! I miss chatting with him on text. Yes he loved to chat. Our conversations would be filled with messages of him praising himself and tons of jokes. We also shared funny videos on WhatsApp. The good old days. I miss his advice. The man oozed wisdom. He would put himself in my shoes every time I went crying to him that I was stuck.

I miss how happy he made my siblings. You know every time we were sad, he would ask us to smile for him. This would be followed by jokes and within no time we would be laughing so hard. I try to make my sisters laugh and wueh! Si it is an uphill task? Sometimes I feel like a part of my sisters died when dad left. I don’t know if a part of me died too but I always try to be happy no matter what because dad loved seeing us happy.

Dad always called mum by her name not Mama so and so. Other times he just called her Mama and he always said it with a certain swag. I miss seeing how happy he made her. After all those years! I miss presiding over their petty arguments. I always took Dad’s side though, how unfair of me. Mum secretly enjoyed getting on his nerves and I know she misses that too. I really want to continue with this story but the pain it brings is too much for me handle right now. You know work, adulting and stuff! They say time heals all wounds lakini this one might never heal.

Rest in peace sweet old man

I’ve been burning up, since you left

Sam Smith

British Singer, Song Writer

Have a great week fam.




3 thoughts on “THE THINGS THAT I MISS”

  1. Very deep, I admire the way you guys related, and how your dad was so loving and cheerful. IYou painted him in your writing and I almost feel like I knew him. be of good courage dear, someday you shall meet up there. Hugs dear


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