My boyfriend has an amazing goatee.
“We have a lot in common, we should be friends!”
The first time he called my name, I pretended not to hear so that he could say “Agnes” one more time.
I have a new hobby, which involves getting on the nerves of our IT manager at work. That’s what he gets for calling my beloved laptop Toshi, a ‘mainframe computer.’
A few days ago, a certain lady found me talking to myself in a Russian accent at the mirror in the loo.